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The Chipettes are a fictional group of anthropomorphic chipmunk singers first appearing on the cartoon series Alvin and the Chipmunks in 1983. In this and related materials, the Chipettes served as female featured characters in their own right, starring in several episodes in which their male counterparts did not appear.

Brittany Miller
Brittany, the leader of the Chipettes, and her exuberance often serves as the impetus for their adventures. Although she is very nice in such, foolishness, and materialism, and has a notoriously short fuse, Brittany cares deeply for her siblings and often acts as their defender. Brittany is dynamic, ambitious, fearless, competitive, and possessed of a desire to always have her way (although she stops short of true ruthlessness). Brittany has red brown hair and blue eyes, and her signature color is pink. Brittany and Alvin, her counterpart in the male trio, share a love-hate relationship. The rivalry between the two was part of the impetus for the events of many of the episodes of the television show, as well as The Chipmunk Adventure, the first feature film to star the characters. In the 2009 movie Alvin and the Chipmunks:The Squeakquel, Ian makes Brittany stand out and her sisters stand behind her. Ian seems to focus most on Brittany.

Jeanette Miller
Jeanette, the tallest, can best be described as the “absent-minded professor” of the group. Gifted with extraordinary intelligence, she often is so caught up in contemplating the universe that she forgets the simple matters of life, such as not tripping over her own feet. She can generally be found with her shoelaces untied, one knee sock wrinkled around her ankle, and her buttons askew. Jeanette has very poor vision, and is virtually helpless without her glasses. She has brown hair and blue eyes, and her signature colors are royal blue and purple. She and Simon, her counterpart in the male trio, are very shy about their romantic relationship.

Eleanor Miller
Eleanor, the youngest and largest, is self-assured, confident, and extremely maternal. Eleanor has struggled with weight, largely implied to her love of food. Despite her weight problems, she has been often shown engaging in heavy physical activity. She is a gifted athlete and a mini-Olympiad in any field of sport. Eleanor is quite strong-willed, and is far more likely than the timid Jeanette to stand up to her sister Brittany when she feels that she is wrong. Eleanor has blonde hair and green eyes, and her signature color is spring green. She and Theodore, her counterpart in the male trio, are openly caring towards one another, and both have a common bond with food and cooking, making their romance the most obvious of the three.

Watch this funny video of Steve Martin on Johnny Carson’s Tonight show. You’ll be amazed how it works on the FLY.

It is the final round of the Miss Universe Pageant and the 3 finalists, Miss USA , Miss Malaysia and Miss Singapore are being asked 3 simple questions:

MC: The first question is name me an electrical appliance starting with ‘L’
Miss USA : Lamp
Miss Malaysia : Light bulb
Miss Singapore : LADIO
Judge: No, no, Radio does not start with the letter ‘L’

MC: I am going to give you 3 more chances; Now, name me an animal starting with the letter ‘L’
Miss USA : Lion
Miss Malaysia : Leopard
Miss Singapore : LABBIT
Judge: No, no, no!

MC: Your next chance. The name of a famous car that starts with ‘L’
Miss USA : Lexus
Miss Malaysia : Lamborgini
Miss Singapore : Lolls- Loyce
Judge: Oh my God!

MC: I am going to give you one last chance! Name me a fruit starting with the letter ‘L’
Miss USA : Lemon
Miss Malaysia : Lychee
Miss Singapore , with full of confidence, smiles and says: LIEWLIAN !! (durian)

This is not the end of the story, the Judge consulted the board of judges to determine if Miss Singapore should really be disqualified; and they decided that since Miss Singapore was having so many problems With the letter ‘L’, they decided to give her another chance.

Judge: OK, the final question is : Name me a human anatomy starting with the letter ‘L’
Miss USA : Lung (applause)
Miss Malaysia : Liver (even more applause)
Miss Singapore : LAN CIAU !!
The Judges fainted ..!

A friend emailed this to me. There are so many emails, I have to be selective not to offend anyone. But this is so funny, and I had to share it here. So here goes:

John’s secretary

Joe: Your secretary is very sexy.

John: Thanks, it’s a robot from Japan . Her name is Sweety. If you squeeze its right breast it takes notes and if you squeeze the left it types. I’ll lend it to you for a day and you can see for yourself.

Next day Joe called from hospital and shouted :

John you BASTARD, you didn’t tell me Sweety’s pussy is a pencil sharpener.

I have also decided to remove mybloglog because some obnoxious ex-colleague is spying my blog for ideas and I just don’t like it to see her avatar on my blog. What did she do in the past to me? Well for one, she took credit for the work I did and wrote down petty offences on me like forgetting to put the pencil back in the drawer instead of doing real marketing meeting customers outside. No wonder, the company closed down after hiring someone like her. Comes to work 1 hour late every day – an even BIGGER offence that the boss does not know! And once, she even came to work in the retail shop in an upmarket shopping mall in her pajamas! My Gosh!

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock
(MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6 am.

While his coffeepot
(MADE IN CHINA)

was perking, he shaved with his electric razor
(MADE IN HONG KONG)

He put on a dress shirt
(MADE IN SRI LANKA),

designer jeans
(MADE IN SINGAPORE)

and tennis shoes
(MADE IN KOREA)

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet
(MADE IN INDIA)

he sat down with his calculator
(MADE IN MEXICO)

to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch
(MADE IN TAIWAN )

to the radio (MADE IN INDIA ) (from Saudi Arabia )

and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.
At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his
Computer
(made in MALAYSIA ),

John decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals
(MADE IN BRAZIL),

poured himself a glass of wine
(MADE IN FRANCE)

and turned on his TV
(MADE IN INDONESIA),

and then wondered why he can’t find a good paying job in AMERICA
AND NOW HE’S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT MADE IN KENYA,
Originally Born African, Managing Americans (OBAMA)

Today is Valentine’s Day 2009 and I am going out with my family for a simple dinner. Probably at a hawkers’ centre nearby. The above picture was taken by me during our trip to Hadyai over Chinese New Year from 24th to 27th January 2009. You will never find this type of dolls in Malaysia as they are too holy moly and it is ‘haram’ or sacrilege to display such dolls openly. Since it is Valentine’s day, I thought it was appropriate to show it here and its genitals look cute. I am back to processing more company photos for our web site in www.OlympicVenture.com as we complete more projects for clients. Have to update the web site with reference projects that are recently completely and this is my nature of job amongst others. Happy Valentine’s Day to you young dating couples out there

Got two cows

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called ‘Cowkimon’ and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You break for lunch..

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them..
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0..60 or you cut the supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want RM1.20.
The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows or the cow urine instead.
Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.

And last but not least,

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu.

After 8 years in power, President George Bush’s 2 terms are coming to an end on the 20th January 2009 where he will be succeeded by Barack Obama. So while he is still in office, enjoy the photo blog that speaks for itself. Have a good laugh, have a good day! And I will be in KL this evening for business, most likely to reach there after 10:00pm if we set off by 5:00pm today.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, ‘I am very rich. Marry me!’
– That’s Direct Marketing

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, ‘He’s
very rich. Marry him.’
– That’s Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, ‘Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.’
– That’s Telemarketing.

You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it,
offer her a ride, and then say, ‘By the way, I’m very rich ‘Will you marry me?’
– That’s Public Relations.

You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, ‘You are very rich, I want to marry you.’
– That’s Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, ‘I’m rich. Marry me’
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
– That’s Customer Feedback